Night of the Giraffe
by Red Witch
Summary: Here it is! The insane sequel to Toad's Pet! Blob tries to make Toad feel better, but ends up causing more mayhem, destruction, and madness. Not to mention ruining Mystique's day and her shoes!


Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine ****

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine! Got it? Good. Well here it is, ready or not, the bizarre sequel to "Toad's Pet". For the record, I know there a few things in the story that you would not normally find in a zoo. But, hey, it's fiction, so believe in them for the fun of it! Don't ask me where I get these ideas at night. Must be the caffeine.

**Night of the Giraffe**

"I do not believe this," Mystique groaned.

She could not comprehend the bizarre sight that met her eyes. There in the Brotherhood dining room was a modest repast on the table. There was also black crepe paper decorations everywhere, a huge blown up photo on a stand of a frog, and several wreaths and bouquets of flowers. One wreath was inscribed "Goodbye Harry". Another was "From your brothers in the Brotherhood." 

Pietro popped up behind her, still dressed in his clerical costume. "I did the decorations myself. I even catered the affair. Isn't it lovely?" he took out a handkerchief and dabbed his eyes. "Harry would have loved it."

"Where did you get all those flowers? You didn't actually spend money on those things did you?"

"Of course not. I made them myself. I stole some flowers from the park and a few dozen people's lawns. Let me ask you something, do you think I should have gotten Devil's Food Cake? Does it really fit the occasion? I don't know if it is too upbeat or have any, well negative connotations? I don't want Toad to get the idea that Harry is in a place that isn't very happy."

"Pietro, Harry is in box in the backyard. Or more appropriately what's left of him is in the box in the backyard which leads me to the question of how he ended up in a box in the backyard," Mystique spoke in her most calculating tone. The one that meant she had a pretty good idea what happened.

"Oh, look. No line at the buffet. Gottago!" He dashed off. Lance also tried to sneak past her but wasn't so lucky. She grabbed him by the collar and yanked him into the hallway.

"Okay Alvers, what really happened? And don't give me that Danger Room nonsense you told that idiot Toad!" she hissed in a menacing voice.

"What? But it's true!"

"Alvers, I have heard more believable lies from students I'd caught in the bathroom smoking with the lit cigarette still in their hands! Now tell me the truth. I know it's not what you normally do, but try it. Just this once."

"Uh," Lance nervously looked around. "Uh…Aren't there supposed to be singing and stuff at wakes? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I should start a sing along!"

Mystique twisted his ear. " You will be singing in the soprano section if you don't tell me what happened."

"Ow! Leggo! C'mon! Okay, I'll talk! I'll talk!" She released her grip. "It was kinda an accident…"

"Let me guess. Blob sat on him, didn't he?" 

"How did you know that?"

"Pretty obvious especially considering the fact that the food has been on the table longer than three seconds and it's still here. Why oh why am I not surprised? So why the big lie? Obviously not to protect Fred from the wrath of the terrible Toad."

"Well, …Aw …Boss look at him," Lance pointed to Todd. He was sitting dejectedly in a chair. Pietro had put an arm around his shoulder in order to comfort him.

"How could we tell him that? It would break the little guy's heart even more."

"Oh. I see. All of you had a part in killing his frog."  
"Hey, Pietro's the one who let him loose! Besides, what if he took it wrong or something? He might do what Rogue did and leave to join the X-men! Do you really wanna take that chance? Mystique? Mystique? Boss?"

"Give me a minute. I'm thinking it over."

************************************************************************

Fred had no idea where he was or where he was going. _Bad Fred._ He thought to himself. _How could I do that to my little buddy? My poor little buddy. I did a bad, bad, bad thing. This is the incident at the chicken farm when I was twelve all over again. Instead this time I can't hide my mistake by eating it! Oh I feel so bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! Boy I really feel bad!_

He rubbed his head. _Boy all this angst stuff really hurts my head! Where am I anyway?_ He looked around. He was standing inside a place where there were a lot of people standing around looking at animals in cages. _I'm at the zoo? Oh yeah. That's how I got this balloon._ He looked at the balloon tied to his wrist. It was free balloon day. 

He watched it bob up and down in the breeze. _I like balloons. They always make me feel better. Hey! That's it! I just gotta find a way for Toad to feel better and everything will be okay! But what? Maybe he can have my balloon? Nah. It'll take more than that to cheer him up. Gotta think. Gotta think. Ow. My head hurts._

He looked at the enclosure in front of him. There was a small spotted animal with a rather long neck. It looked familiar but he couldn't tell what it was. He read the sign outside the animal's pen.

RARE PYGMY GIRAFFE. NEW SPECIES. THIS SPECIMEN, BORN IN CAPTIVITY IS ONE OF A FEW OF A BRAND NEW BREED OF GIRAFFE. UNLIKE REGULAR GIRAFFES, THIS ONE IS FULLY-GROWN AT ONLY SIX FEET. IT IS BELIEVED THAT THIS BREED IS A MUTANT SUBSPECIES OF NORMAL GIRAFFES.

_A mutant giraffe? Is that possible?_ Fred asked himself. _Well, if there are mutant humans why not mutant giraffes? It's kinda sad, him being all alone in there._

Then something rattled in Fred's brain. What was it he heard Mystique say?

_"I don't care if he keeps a giraffe in his room as long as it keeps him out of my hair!"_

An idea was then born in Fred's mind. He grinned mischievously and let out a laugh. That was when a few people who just happened to be standing around him decided to move quickly and quietly away. Fred didn't notice. He just laughed as the plan began to come together in his mind.

************************************************************************

It was nearly 3am when Lance and Pietro returned to the house. Both were very tired and very unhappy. "Man is the boss lady gonna kill us!" Pietro fumed. "Where could Blubber Butt have gone? We must have checked every pizza place, burger joint and chicken shack in this town and still no sign of him! I mean how hard can it be to find a guy who's the size of the Space Shuttle?"

"Pretty hard, apparently. I mean we didn't have any luck. Maybe he came home for a snack or something? I dunno. Maybe he's come back."

"I don't think so, look," Pietro pointed to the sleeping figure of Todd on the couch. He had been left behind in case Fred came back. He lay there, still dressed in his suit, sound asleep in a fetal position. 

"Awww…" Pietro sarcastically drawled. "Lookit the little tadpole. Sleeping so peacefully. Almost a shame to wake him up. Almost."

Lance stopped him, "Hey! Leave him alone!" he commanded in a harsh whisper. "Give the little guy a break! He's had a rough day."

"He's had a rough day? We break our necks giving him a funeral and spend the entire night looking for the Frog Killer and you tell me _he's_ had a rough day? Why should we be the only ones losing beauty sleep?"

"Shut up!" 

"You shut up!"

"Shhh! You'll wake him!"

"Oh god forbid we wake the Frog Prince over here."

"Somebody's really grumpy tonight."

"Grumpy, I'm way past grumpy! I'm ticked off!"

"Aww, widdle Pietwo cwanky because he's a widdle tired?"

"Aww, widdle Lancie-Poo gonna cry when he gets a big boo-boo right in the kisser?"

That was when Fred came out of the kitchen, munching on some corn chips. "Hey, guys, where were you?"

"I knew it," Pietro slapped his head. "I told you we should have checked the kitchen first!"

"Where have you been?" Lance almost shouted. The others shushed him down. 

"Aww, careful Lance, we're not supposed to wake up little Toddy," Pietro smirked. "Looks like I'm not the only one who needs his beauty sleep."

"You two are gonna need to be in a coma for a month if you guys are gonna improve your looks," Fred chuckled.

"Ha Ha Fred. Fun-nee!" Pietro snapped. "Oops! Careful. You don't wanna sit on the couch! You might squash Toad too! And we are out of shoeboxes, so please be careful this time!"

"You know Quickie, if I hadn't been out fixing things I might actually get mad at that," Fred harrumphed.

"What do you mean?" Lance asked.

"I got Toad a new pet."

"Oh this I have got to see!" Pietro put up his hands. "You, the Blob, found a pet for Toad."

"Yeah, I did, and it's better than some dumb old frog!"

"Oh yeah?" Pietro challenged. "Well…hey! What's he doing?" He pointed to Todd, who was making noises in his sleep and kicking his legs.

"I think he's dreaming," Lance guessed. 

"Nightmare?" asked Fred.

"I don't think so," Lance bent down over him. "He sounds…happy. Whoa!" Lance dodged Todd's tongue as it shot out of his mouth. "What the…?"

"Heh…Heh…Got another one. Yum, yum!" Todd giggled in his sleep. "Mine, mine, mine, mine…" his tongue darted out again, barely missing Lance's ear.

"Oh great," Lance groaned. "It's the Butterfly Dream again!"

"The what?" asked Fred.

"He dreams he's in this big field of flowers and there's all these butterflies and he's chasing them and having a snack," Pietro explained. He quickly dodged another tongue assault. "Whoa! That must be the fastest tongue in the west!"

"Butterfly, butterfly…he he!" Todd giggled. His tongue then made contact with Fred's corn chips. Big mistake. Fred grabbed the tongue before it could retract and after a mini tug of war, yanked Todd off the couch.

"OW!" Todd yelped. "Aw, man, I was having the best dream! I found Harry and there were all these butterflies and…"

"We get the picture, Toad," Pietro groaned." You were supposed to call us when Fred got back! Not sleep on the job!"

"How? We don't got no communicators or nothin'?" Todd replied indignantly, rubbing his sore head.

"My cell phone, duh!"

"You mean this?" Todd held it up. "You forgot it again!"

Pietro stood there with his mouth open for a second. Then he made a sheepish grin. "Oops. Sorry. My bad."

"Besides the batteries are busted," Todd added throwing it to him. "Yo Freddy? Where ya been?"

"Yeah Mystique had us combing the entire town for you," said Pietro.

"Speaking of which, where is she?" asked Lance. Then he heard the back door slam. They all went to the kitchen to see a very tipsy Mystique stagger in singing a chorus of Margaritaville. She was in her principal disguise, but she looked disheveled and had several tiny umbrellas stuck in her hair in various places. 

"Well he's not in the bar!" she hiccuped. "Oh look. The whole gang's here. All four stooges, Larry, Moe, Curly, and…Froggy…(hic!)"

"Oh man, and she complains about how I smell," Todd grumbled shirking from the stench of alcohol.

"Hey boss, isn't getting drunk breaking some kind of principal code or somethin'?" Lance smirked. "I mean you are the adult around here. And you have to set an example for us impressionable children." 

"Yes, mommy," Pietro giggled. "Oh please don't get all sick again. Don't you love us?"

"Yes, Mystique don't you know that alcohol is very damaging to a mutant's system?" Fred was now joining in the fun. "Don't you know it does very bad things to your body? It even kills brain cells."

"Listen you twerps, my brain cells got damaged from looking after the…how many of you are there?" she counted. "One…two…four…six…eight…Whatever. When you get to be my age and have a group of mutated destructive jerks living under your roof, you can drink as much as you want and I won't say a word! Fred, I am too tired to beat you up tonight, so I am going to bed and kill you in the morning. Now everybody get to sleep. Tomorrow is a school day. Not that any of you will do any actual work but that's beside the point." 

As Mystique staggered up the stairs to her room the Brotherhood laughed quietly. Any louder would mean serious bodily harm. "Hey Fred," Lance remembered. "Where's this pet you got Toad?"

"What?" Todd was surprised. "You got me another frog or somethin'?"

"Better," Fred smiled. "I was gonna surprise you but well, you just gotta see this for yourself! I put it where you would find it."

"ARRGGHHH!" They heard a loud scream from upstairs. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING IN MY ROOM?!"

"Oops," Fred said. "Wrong room."

************************************************************************

"Oh wow, Fred! He's great!"

Mystique felt something soft and brush-like move across her face. She groaned and opened her eyes. Something was wagging a huge tail in front of her face. She groaned with the pain of several hangovers as she sat up from the floor. 

"What the hell is this thing? " She moaned at the sight before her. "Please tell me that this is some awful hallucination brought on by tequila!"

"It's a rare mutant giraffe! And he's mine! Blob got it for me, isn't it great!" Todd laughed as the creature licked his face.

"A whaaaa…?" Mystique's mouth hung open.

"No it's a giraffe not a Whaaaa," said Fred.

"Man I gotta admit, this thing is pretty cool," Lance petted it's neck.

"Whoa. What the hell is going on here?" Mystique got up. "What is this thing? Why is it in my bedroom and who said anything about keeping it as a pet?"

"You did," said Fred.

"Huh?"

"You said that you didn't care if Toad kept a pet giraffe in his room if it kept him out of your way. Well, I saw this mutated giraffe in the zoo and I thought; Hey its fate!" Fred explained.

"That's right Boss Lady, I heard you," Lance grinned. "You said that."

"Yeah what better pet than a mutant animal?" Pietro reasoned. "Hey look, his tongue's almost as long as Toad's!"

"And he's mine, mine, mine!" Todd sang, giving the animal a hug around the neck. The giraffe seemed to enjoy it.

"This is not happening," Mystique shook her head. "This is not happening. This is not real. This is some deranged fantasy thought up by a lunatic. Somebody's sick idea of how to make my life even more miserable. That's it. It's not real. I'm dreaming. Ha! That's it. I'm asleep and I am dreaming. Oh what a relief!"

"Hey Pietro can you make him a sweater for his neck? I don't want him to get cold or nothin'?"

"Sure? What colors would you like?"

"This is not real. This can't be real! This is not happening!"

"Hey I can help make a house out back for him!"

"Cool!"

"I am not seeing this. I am not hearing this! This is not happening! I mean how in the world did Blob off all people pull off a giraffe-napping? How? How could you possibly have done this without getting caught? It defies all reason!" she screamed.

"You'd be surprised how lousy security is at the zoo," Fred shrugged. "Besides, I have my methods."

"Oh god! This is real!" she sat on the bed and put her head in her hands. She almost started to sob until she felt something lick her face. She looked at them with a menacing glare.

"So can we keep him?" Todd asked.

"Oh sure," she sarcastically snapped. "Why not? Yeah. What were you idiots thinking? I forgot! You don't think! This…animal is stolen property. You can't just take it out for a walk whenever you feel like it! What are you gonna feed it? Popsicles? Ho-Hos? What if one of the neighbors sees it? Did you think about that? The police would come and take us all to jail! Actually take you to jail. I'd have to relocate somewhere which is looking pretty good right about now!"

"What neighbors?" asked Pietro. "I never saw anybody around here."

"Oh there was a couple folks a while back when I first moved in," Todd said petting his new friend. 

"Yeah I remember," Lance scratched his chin. "Real jumpy folks. Hey that's when the for sale signs started to appear."

"Yeah," said Fred. "I even helped one of them move out. They even let me keep their couch. I kinda accidentally busted it."

"You know, now that I think about it, we haven't seen a real estate agent in…how long?" asked Lance. 

"Hey, if nobody's around then we can keep him!" Todd hugged the little giraffe.

"No! No! No!" Mystique cried. "This is it. I can see what's coming! I can see it now clear as day! You guys are gonna kill this thing too! Picture it! The thing chokes on a Twinkie or Fred gives it a hug or something and splat! The next thing you know we are having another funeral in the backyard for Stretchy or whatever dumb name you give it! I am not going though this again! Do you hear me? Not again!"

"What do you mean kill this thing too?" Todd asked.

"Goldfish!" Pietro quickly spoke. "Uh, Fred ate her goldfish a while back. Thought it was sushi."

"It goes back. Tonight!" Mystique hissed. "Do you hear me? All of you take it back tonight! So Toad, Blob you stay with it. On the other hand just so there isn't any more screw-ups and that I can actually relax at work a little, all of you stay home today! School will be much more peaceful with all of you gone! So as soon as it gets dark, you take it back and _don't_ bring any other animals home! The four of you is all I can cope with! Now take it out of my room, put it in your room Toad and get out!"

The Brotherhood guided the giraffe out of the room quickly. Mystique slammed the door and screamed. She stomped around her room until she her foot came into contact with something that went squish. She made a face before she looked down. Her eyes confirmed what she suspected.

"TOAD! Your little friend left a present in my room!"

************************************************************************

It was a moonlit night at the Bayville Zoo. Except for the occasional cry of a wild animal it was silent. Lance furtively looked around. He was dressed in his Avalanche uniform. He took the point as leader and made a motion for his team to follow. Unfortunately, they had other ideas.

"Pietro! Stop teasing the cheetahs!"

Pietro was not listening. He was sprinting back and forth in front of the cage, taunting the very confused and now very angry cats. "I'm over here. No, over here! C'mon you call that fast? Can't catch me. Can't catch me! Too slow! You guys should have been turtles! Ha!"

"Blob, will you get over here! What are you doing?"

Fred sauntered up carrying two huge cotton candy cones and holding several balloons. "I got a snack. Balloon?"

Lance hit his head. "No wonder the X-men keep kicking our butts! Will you guys knock it off and stay focused! Where's Toad?"

"Gone to get the giraffe," Blob munched. "Do we really have to give it back?"

"You heard the Boss Lady. Okay here's the cage. All we gotta do is put it back and get out of here. Simple as pie."

"Ooh pie! Yum!"

"Blob stop thinking of your stomach! Quicksilver, come over here and give me the keys!"

"Here ya go! Hey! Is that a candy bar in your pocket Blob?" Pietro grabbed it with his usual dexterity before wolfing it down. 

"Hey! I was saving that for later!"

"Well I need the energy!"

"Will you two clowns stay focused!" Lance hissed. "The guards might find us!"

"Not a chance!" Fred snickered. "Not after all those laxatives I put in their coffee!"

"Well, let's not take any chances," said Lance. "I don't want anything to go wrong tonight!"

"Don't worry," Pietro shrugged. "What could possibly happen?"

"I should have known you guys would be behind this!"

Lance turned around and saw in the dim light of a lamppost three figures of the people he hated most in the world. Cyclops, Spyke, and Nightcrawler.

"I told you they were behind this," said Spyke. "They're always causing trouble!"

"What are you losers doing here?" Lance snarled. "Isn't past your bedtime? Did you sneak out of old Baldy's mansion to see the lions and tigers and bears? Oh wait, I don't see the girls. I get it! You're all looking for a girlfriend for your blue monkey over there!"

"What are you cowards doing to these animals!" Nightcrawler snarled back.

"Hey! We're not doin' nothin'!" Fred retorted.

"Yeah, that is so typical of you X-geeks," Pietro shook his head. "Something happens and automatically we're the bad guys! Well you guys are barking up the wrong tree this time! You guys have no proof that we are doing anything!"

At that point Todd rode by on the giraffe. "Hey! Hey! Slow down! Guys I can't stop him! Help!" he yelped in fear.

They all watched as Todd rode into the night. Pietro shrugged, "Circumstantial evidence. Here have some cotton candy!" He grabbed Fred's stash and whirled around and around the X-men covering them with the sugary sweet stuff. 

"Come on, that's not going to last long," Pietro told his teammates. Cyclops was already using the force beams from his eyes to melt away the gooey substance. "Let's get Toad and run! Mystique's waiting for us. We can trash these geeks some other time!"

"Good idea! But first…" Lance smiled evilly. "Let's rock!"

Lance focused his powers and stamped his foot, sending a mild tremor that toppled the X-men. He laughed and raced away with his co-horts to find Todd. This was easier said than done.

"Anybody see which way he went?" asked Pietro.

"Split up! We'll meet back here!" Lance raced left.

"Right! I'll see if he's hiding in here!" Fred motioned towards a snack stand. He opened the back door with his bare hands. "Popcorn! Oh yeah!"

"Hey Blob," Pietro raced behind him. "I think I'll help you!" He grabbed several candy bars and started munching them. "Oh yeah! Candy! Candy! Candy! Love that candy! AGGHHHHHKKKK!"

Pietro yelped in shock as he was yanked from behind. "I can't leave you guys alone for a minute can I?" Lance groaned.

"Snack?" Pietro put on a cute face and held up a candy bar to Lance as a peace offering. Lance smacked it out of his hand. Yanking Pietro by his collar, he started to drag him outside. 

"Okay, new plan," Lance informed them. "We will all find Toad together! Blob put that down or so help me I will create a crack in the earth all the way to China and let you fall in it!"

"You couldn't…" Fred looked at him, then at the popcorn he held in his hands. "Your powers don't work like that! Right? You're bluffing!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Uh…" Fred looked again at the popcorn and with a sigh dropped it. "Fine."

"You really are a killjoy you know that?" Pietro snapped. "Ouch! Cut it out!"

"Toad where are you?" Lance grumbled while yanking on Pietro's ear.

************************************************************************

"Ow. Ow. Right in the rosebush. It figures," Todd grumbled, picking out thorns from his costume. "Ohhh. Avalanche is gonna kill me! Now where did that thing disappear to? Here giraffe! Giraffe! Gir-aa-aaffe! Ohhhhhh. Maybe I should have named it first."

Todd wandered around. "What's over there?" he wondered aloud as he noticed a medium sized building. It smelled vaguely familiar. Even though he knew there was no way the giraffe could not be in there he really wanted to see what was inside. He looked at a sign next to the door. Todd's jaw dropped when he saw the words written on it.

ENTOMOLOGY BUILDING. NEW BUTTERFLY EXHIBIT! OVER 50 LIVE SPECIES OF BUTTERFLIES EXHIBITED.

Todd could not pick the lock fast enough. He looked in wonder as he entered the building and turned on the light switch. All around him were various species of bugs in glass containers. Before him was a large glass enclosure filled with flowers. As the lights were turned on, he saw dozens of multi-colored insects with wings take flight inside.

Inside his head Todd could hear the Hallelujah Chorus from Messiah. He felt a joy stirring inside him he had never known before. A huge grin spread over his face and his eyes twinkled with happiness.

"Dreams do come true!" He whispered.

************************************************************************

"There they are! Get them!"

"Aw man! TOAD WHERE ARE YOU?" Lance shouted as he dodged a beam from Cyclops. "Where did that runt run off to?"

"Well he's not here that's for sure!" Pietro dodged a spike. "Okay! Now I'm ticked off!"

Using his super speed Pietro literally ran circles around the X-men, punching them as he whizzed past. "Can't catch me losers! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hey!" 

Nightcrawler teleported out of his range. "Nah! Nah! Missed me Speedy!" He stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry. Unfortunately he didn't notice the Blob was right behind him. Fred grabbed him and after twirling him in the air a couple of times like a rag doll, tossed him into the other two X-men, knocking them over into a pile.

"Come on!" Lance shouted as they raced away. When they got a short distance he asked himself. "Now, if I were Toad, where would I be?"

"How about that building over there with the lights on?" asked Pietro. 

"Looks like the place," nodded Lance as they ran over.

"What's in there?" asked Fred. "Ente-mol-ogy? What's that?"

"It's the study of bugs," Pietro answered. They all looked at each other the exact same time. "Toad!" They all shouted as one before racing in. They could not believe the destruction that they saw. There was broken glass everywhere with empty containers. 

"Man this place is trashed!" remarked Pietro. Then he heard maniacal laughter. "I think we just found him!" 

They went over to the Butterfly enclosure. Todd hopped all over, catching butterflies with his tongue. He laughed as he gobbled his butterfly feast. "Butterfly! Butterfly! Mine! All mine!"

"Well," Fred said. "He may have lost a pet, but he gained a buffet."

"Take a good look Quicksilver, this is you on caffeine," said Lance. 

"That is so not me!"

"Wanna bet? Okay Toad, that's enough! Time to go home!"

"What about the giraffe?" asked Fred.

"Forget the stupid giraffe and let's get out of here before…" Lance was interrupted as he dodged an eye beam at the very last second. "Never mind."

"Okay you guys," Cyclops ordered as the X-men caught up to them. "What…Happened here!?"

"I think the Toad may have had something to do with it," Nightcrawler pointed out.

"You think?" Pietro quipped. "Well I've heard of people having butterflies in their stomach before but this is the first time I've actually seen proof of it."

"Hey Toad! Knock it off! Dinnertime's over!"" Lance shouted. "Time to go!" 

"Heh Heh…" Todd leapt up to them. "I feel great! I am invincible! I am all powerful!"

"You are nuts," Cyclops shook his head.

"Yeah, uh huh! That's what you think! Ha! Ha!" Todd laughed maniacally.

"Uh guys, is it me or does he seem a bit more hyper than usual?" Spyke asked.

"Man look at his eyes! What's wrong with him?" asked Pietro. "He looks like he's on something."

"Maybe it's all the bugs he ate," Lance guessed. "Maybe him eating butterflies is the same thing as you eating twelve candy bars in one sitting."

"I do not get like that!"

"Do so."

"Do not."

"Do so."

"Do not!"

"Hey, we're in the middle of a battle here!" Spyke shouted. 

"Oh yeah! You wanna fight! C'mon! C'mon!" Todd jumped up and slimed all of the X-men in one fell swoop.

"Whoa! Maximum mucus!" Spyke groaned as the Brotherhood raced after a leaping Todd. 

"Okay Toad! Let's go! We're done here!" said Lance.

"Wrong Avalanche! I've only just started!" Todd laughed. "It's time we sent a message! Oh yeah! This is gonna be good! Gonna be good!" 

"Hey!" Lance shouted as Todd grabbed the keys from the zoo from him. "Toad give them back! What are you doing!" They all raced after Todd. "Toad, stop this right now!"

"No! We are the Brotherhood Liberation League! And we are gonna free all these poor animals!" Todd shouted. "Down with human oppression! Today the zoo! Tomorrow the world! Ha! Ha!" He used the keys and started opening several animal cages.

"Oh lord no…" Lance moaned as a few monkeys raced past him.

"Be free! Be free!" Todd opened cages left and right. Pietro laughed and grabbed the keys from his hand.

"My turn! Ha! Ha! Ha!" he laughed maniacally as he started to open cages too. 

"Oh God not you too," Lance groaned. "Blob will you help me with…"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. He saw Fred opening the bird cages with his bare hands. "Fly away little birdies!" Fred shouted. "Fly! Be free! Wake up and fly away!"

Cyclops, Spyke, and Nightcrawler looked in shock. "I knew you guys were crazy," Cyclops said. "But I didn't know you were **nuts!**"

"These guys need serious help," Nightcrawler shook his head.

"Oh man, Quicksilver's even more hyper than usual," Spyke slapped his head. "The other's must have got it from him."

"No wonder Rogue left them," Nightcrawler agreed.

"Okay this is it! That's enough!" Lance shouted. "WILL YOU MORONS KNOCK IT OFF!" The ground started to shake.

Pietro did not notice. He was too wrapped up in his fun to notice. "Born free! Ha Ha!" he sang opening another cage.

"Quicksilver don't!" He heard Cyclops and Lance scream at the same time.

"What?" He asked, annoyed. He looked at the sign on the cage. "It's just the cheetah cage. Uh oh…" 

He blanched when he heard a few low growls. "Nice kitty," Pietro backed off.

"Run!" Fred screamed. Both Brotherhood and X-men ran for their lives.

"Pietro I told you not to tease the cheetahs!"

A little over two hours later the Brotherhood dragged themselves home. Their uniforms were torn and they had bruises all over their bodies. Fred was carrying Todd on his back. Todd was groaning in pain. Mystique looked them over. "So what happened?" she asked.

"Don't ask…" Lance muttered, throwing his helmet to the side.

"Oh my aching back," Pietro groaned.

"I don't feel so good," Todd whined.

"Me neither," Fred sighed, placing Todd on a large chair.

"Oh I gotta hear this," Mystique folded her arms.

"Well let's recap this evening," Pietro groaned as he plopped down on the sofa. "We trashed the zoo, stole and ate a bunch of food, got in a fight with the X-men…"

"By the way we were kicking their butts," Fred explained. "Right up until somebody started letting the animals out of their cages."

"Ohhhhhhhh…."Todd moaned in agony.

"As I was saying, several species of rare bugs are now extinct thanks to Toad who got high off them," Pietro continued. "Not to mention letting several animals escape including some deranged cheetahs."

"You were the one who let the cheetahs out!" Todd snapped. "I wasn't the only one who set those animals free! All you guys did it too!"

"I didn't," Lance replied smugly.

"Shut up Lance!" the other three members of the Brotherhood snapped at the same time.

"Don't tell me to shut up! Pietro if you hadn't teased the cheetahs and let them out you wouldn't have gotten us scratched up!"

"How did they catch you anyway, Pietro?" asked Fred. "You're the faster then they are."

"He tripped over me," Todd groaned. "Ohhhhh. My stomach!"

"Good thing for us they developed an interest in Blue-boy and his X-geek buddies," Lance snarled. "That's how we got away. They were so busy rounding the animals up they didn't have time for us. So all in all a fun evening all around."

"Hey at least we brought the giraffe back. So mission accomplished!" Pietro gave a mock salute.

"Really. That's nice to know. Oh could you boys come out back with me for a second?" Mystique asked.

"Ohhhhhh…Do we haveta?" Todd moaned. "I feel so bloated."

"Just come back here. It won't take a second," Mystique motioned with her finger. Reluctantly, they followed her to the back door.

"So you boys completed your mission eh?" she said. "Well then, how do you explain **this!**"

She opened the door and the boy's jaws dropped. Outside, munching on the leaves of a nearby tree, was the giraffe.

"Oh no…" Fred groaned.

"You morons can't do anything right can you?" Mystique snapped. 

"How did it get back here?" asked Lance slapping his head.

"This thing must be part homing pigeon!" Pietro exclaimed. "Now what do we do?"

"Can't we keep it?"

"Shut up Toad!" The others all shouted.

"Fine. Fine," Mystique snapped. "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself! I will take the stupid thing back! Alone! You fools have caused enough damage for one night!" She went outside. "Come here you! Hey! Hey! Come back here you long necked freak!"

"Well, tonight was fun," said Pietro watching Mystique chase the giraffe all over the backyard.

"This is quite entertaining too, you have to admit," agreed Lance. 

"COME BACK HERE YOU SPOTTED MENACE!"

"Should we help her?" asked Fred.

"No she said she wanted to do the job herself," Todd smirked.

"He's right," Pietro said. "That's exactly what she told us."

"Well, orders are orders," Lance smiled.

"YOU STUPID ANIMAL! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU…!!!"

"You know," Pietro remarked. "I'll bet she catches it within an hour."

"Nah, I say two at least," Lance shook his head.

"COME BACK HERE!"

"I say two and a half!" said Fred.

"I'll take that! And five will get you ten she'll step in giraffe manure again!" Todd piped up.

"You're on!" Lance said. "Gentlemen, place your bets!"

"Go on Mystique! You can do it! You go girl!"

"Go giraffe! Go! You can take her!"

"Run giraffe! Who-ho!"

"WHEN I AM DONE WITH THIS YOU LOSERS ARE NEXT! HEY! HEY! DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME YOU LONG-NECKED COW! COME BACK HERE! AGGGHHHH! WHAT IS THIS ON MY BOOT?"

"Told ya," Todd snickered, collecting his prize.


End file.
